My Weekend

We got snow this weekend and it was so beautiful. We dodged a big bullet and got little to no ice. Usually when we get snow in the south, it snows a couple of inches and then melts part way and then everything is coated with ice. This makes the driving especially treacherous. Snow good, ice bad. So we got really lucky this time around.



The kids were thrilled of course. They got to have snowball fights. All was well and good until the Youngest got a snowball in the face and then things went downhill from there. To make matters worse, it was his dad that did it to him.

Mean 'Ol Daddy.

I have finished the first part of the top of the Bella Paquita Sweater. I'm working on the sleeves now and the lace will follow after the sleeves are attached. I'd be doing better on this sweater if I could frickin' read directions though. Obviously, not only math are hard, but reading are hard as well.

Bella Paquita w/o lace or sleeves

You'll notice that you've seen this yarn before. I frogged the minimalist cardigan I was working on and decided to use it for this project. The cardigan just wasn't doing anything for me and this yarn is so lovely I just couldn't waste it.



I'm joining in on Blogstalker 3 from over at the Knitty Coffeeshop forum. This week is all about something in your favorite color, which just happens to be red. So here's an action shot of a two year old boy playing with my red Cluster Stitch bag:

Knitting and the Alphabet

The Meema Files is running a really fun creative contest. A combination of knitting and the alphabet. Read more about it here.

Here was my entry: (slightly PG-13 rated)

A is for advanced, something I'm not.
B is for blocking, whether a sweater or sock.

C is for cables, some small, some fat.
D is for D*mn, my yarn became a victim of my cat.

E is for extra, as in stitches I've got.
F is for frogging, I get extras a lot.

G is for gauge, it can cause me to age.
H is for hooch, for when knitting drives me to rage.

I is for idiot, which sometimes I feel.
J is for joy, Look! I turned a heel!

K is for knit, more fun than purl.
L is for lost stitch, makes me want to hurl.

M is for Make one, occasionally on both sides.
N is for not much, asked how much I've spent on yarn, sometimes I've lied.

O is for object, finished or un.
P is for project, boy this sure is fun!

Q is for quick, mittens, scarves and hats.
R is for reevaluate, the adoption of the yarnball chasing cat.

S is for SEX, Stash Enhancement eXpedition.
T is for trip, to gain more yarn attrition.

U is for unstoppable, knitting is such an addiciton
V is for vowing, when my friends vow to give me a knitting intervention.

W is for weather, Oh good, it's snowing, I can stay home and knit.
X is for Xstatic, my hand knit gift was a hit!

Y is for yelp, I stabbed myself with a needle, now go get help!
Z is for the zzz's I can get, after a project well knit.

Bella Paquita for beginning chart knitters

My needles came in and now Bella Paquita begins!

I'd been waiting on my KnitPicks order to arrive on my doorstep and it finally happened yesterday afternoon. Yeah!

I cast on today for Bella Paquita for the Sexy Knitter's Club KAL. Technically I'm jumping the gun as the KAL is not set to begin until the 21st. I'm not sure that 3 days head start is really going to matter. I'm not a super quick knitter, so we'll see what happens.

I immediately began reading and then re-reading Marnie's pattern. My comfort zone is really with long drawn written out directions, not charts. Guess what this pattern is all about? Charts!

So here's what I did to start. I'm working on the Top chart in a size Small.

Reading charts is a little like reading Chinese (okay, I'm exaggerating, but bear with me) you need to start at the bottom and read right to left.

First thing I needed to do was to count how many sts to cast on. That would be 128.

Second, I wanted to know how many rows total that I would be working on: 69.

Third, there are decreases on either side of the pattern. I needed to decide what kind of decreases I wanted on each side. I chose to do ktogs on side A and and ssls on side C. You can choose as you like.

Fourth, to help me keep everything straight, I marked up the chart a bit (I'll show you that in a sec.)

Fifth, I marked what kind of stitch I would be doing in what direction on the chart. This helps me know which way to look on the chart. This won't always help with other stitch patterns, but it works on stockinette done flat.

Sixth, I marked what rows I would need to decrease on in a little chart at the top.

Seventh, I know that on row 23 I will need to move from one ball of yarn to three and marked that in the chart.

Here's my working chart notes:

Click on pic to enlarge (edited due to me being an idiot - math are hard!)

Now to experts with charts these steps will seem a no brainer. But I know that others, like me, have difficulty with charts and I hope that by doing this "out loud" so to speak, I can help the chart newbies.

I got the chart written up and then ran into the provisional cast-on. This is officially my first provisional cast on. You can go to Knittinghelp.com's cast on page and scroll down for directions on the invisible provisional cast on.

I cast on the 128 and began knitting. I placed markers between A and B and then B and C. For those who don't know, you can work this section in one piece if you want. You begin from the bottom up. You ignore the white space in the chart from rows 1 to 22. Pretend it's negative space and doesn't really exist. (ETA - except for the increases, don't forget those, they're kinda important :) ) easy peasy. When you get to row 23 though, you need to work each part, A B & C, in separate pieces which calls for separate balls of yarn.

Then, I had an attack of poor self confidence. I began second guessing myself. What if I was all wrong? So what did I do? I emailed Marnie and asked her to hold my hand. She answered back really fast and calmed me back down and sent me back out to knit. Whew!

The only problem I had after that (so far) was the 2 yo. grabbing the ball of yarn, throwing it and eventually unwinding it. That one, I can handle. :)

Cluster Stitch Shoulder Bag Finished!

I finished the Crochet Cluster Stitch Shoulder Bag last night. Although I don't have a pic of it, it is lined with some cute contemporary red fabric that has little white hearts drawn on it.




Tips for working on this pattern:

How to do a Cluster Stitch in this pattern: Yarn over before you put the hook into the center of the SC (Single Crochet) stitch. Then, grab the yarn draw up about one inch worth and pull it back through the loop. Do this again for as many times as the directions specify. Then you will put the hook back through the SC stitch, grab the yarn one more time and pull it back through all the loops on the hook. One last chain stitch will gather the loops all together to make the cluster. Your first cluster is made! Now, skip the next SC and do the cluster again in the following SC. Basically you'll be doing a Cluster in every other SC.

Also pay attention to the X times more directions. You don't want to be a few rows too short at the end of the pattern. Printing out the pattern and placing little tick marks on it is an easy way of keeping up with how many rows you have completed.

It may seem tedious, but going back and counting your sts in your row fairly often will guarantee that you keep the 29 sts that you are supposed to have. You won't believe how easy it is to leave one stitch off a row and add two others onto another row.

I hope you enjoy this pattern as much as I have!

Snow!

We got SNOW today! I know you people up North and in Canada and Russia think this is no big deal, but it is here in the deep South! These pics were taken early on, we got about and inch or two of snow later. Snow only comes once maybe twice (and that's pushing it) a year here. The kids were so excited.

The back yard

Blurry back porch. Looks much more focused in person, I promise.

The Youngest trying to catch and eat snow flakes.

More proof of early snow

Resolutions Contest Results

The Contest is now officially over. I'm feelin' sorta sad about that. This was so much fun! Thanks to everyone who participated!

Would ya like to know the winner?

Well, just to string you a long for a second, I'll tell you the resolution that I've already broken. Mine actually started a couple of weeks before the end of the year, but I'm counting it anyway.

I resolved to cut out all the sugar that I've been drinking in my hot tea and coffee. At one time I was putting two to three teaspoons of sugar in my mug. When you multiply that by how many mugs of hot drink it takes to keep me warm and happy during the day, well, let's just say it was way too much. I got a sugar substitute and got to it. This was so hard for me. I hate the taste of all the substitutes. I have yet to find one I like. I tried Splenda and Equal both. I prefer Equal, but it still yucky. It's easier to take in coffee, but not tea. I've already blown the resolution with the tea, but the coffee is still getting by with Equal. Oh well.

So there you have it. You are not the only ones who have little to no willpower.

As soon as I get her address details, the following:


will be sent post haste to:

KNITASAUR!

Congratulations Knitasaur!

Contest ends tomorrow!

Don't forget - the Contest ends tomorrow. The winner will be announced on the 16th. Good Luck!

Shea

Mohawk Beanie

Now I know why I see so many hats and bags and small projects on everyone's blogs. The instant gratification of completing a project in just a few days is so awesome.

This is not my usual thing. I tend toward sweaters and socks mainly. I'm taking part in the KAL over at the Sexy Knitters Club for the Bella Paquita sweater. However, I realized that I'm missing some needles that I need. I headed to KnitPicks and ordered some more, but now I'm at the mercy of the US postal service.

Thus, the dog sweater and hat kick that I seem to be on. I need fast, easy and fun projects to while away the time until I can start Bella.

That all being said, I finished the Mohawk Beanie for the Eldest on Sunday afternoon. As goofy as he looks in it, He is totally loving it. He couldn't wait to get to school to tell everyone his Mom had made him a hat (and I heard him do it too.)

Showin' off the 'hawk.

My wannabe skateboardin' punk rocker

It ended up being a bit too big for him as you can see in the second pic. I adjusted it by sewing a small seam in the back and now it fits perfectly.

I found a few errors in the pattern, but if you count carefully, you can correct them as you go. On her site she also has directions for doing this hat in the round, but they're not very clear. You are going to have to carry the fuzzy yarn on the inside. I don't think I could stand to have that much fuzzy stuff on the inside of a hat, so I made this one flat instead.

But this is perfect for silly 7 year old boys!

I-Matey Dog Coat

I finished the I-Matey Dog Coat. This is so cute. It's perfect for my little "Bad Girl".

I made two changes to what the pattern called for.

First, I used acrylic yarn. I refuse to use good yarn on a dog that's going to go out and roll in poop and GA red clay. Acrylic is so much more washer and dryer friendly.

Second, I used two size 6 circs. instead of the dpns called for. I seem to be allergic to the use of double pointed needles. yuck!

Aargh Matey!

Tough Girl!

Coolest Tin Evar!

I escaped from the mad house this evening. It was time to get away. Too much time around the testosterone poisoned house (one hubby, two boys) is never a good thing for a chic. I took off for JoAnn's and threatened to stay there til closing time. It was that or pack a bag full of books, yarn and needles and move to Tahiti. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad. hmmmm......

Anyway, while I was there I came across this little tin of green apple mints. I fell in love and had to have it. How cute! And it can hold my stitch markers when the all the tiny little mints are gone!

Coolest. Tin. Evar.

So now that I'm back in the testosterone filled atmosphere I am cozying up to a new drink that I created. Sprite, Triple Sec, Absolute Peach. It tastes like summer. Yum! Have no clue as to proportions. At the time this new drink was concocted all I wanted to do was pour. Measurements are for the birds.

Intarsia Central

There's only 6 days left of the Contest. If you haven't left your resolution yet, better hurry!


Being the complete idiot with crafty projects that I am, last night I decided to take on another project that I had no idea how to do. Intarsia. You'd think that I would be happy with the few things that I know how to do with knitting and would combine them and make something wonderful and quick. Well. I don't do things the easy way and let's just leave it at that.

Usually when I tackle something new, I become the master researcher. I learn all sorts of things that I never wanted to know about each project that I do. I learn to ad nauseum. But! I didn't do that this time. I had a pattern, I had yarn, I could do this.

Heh. Heh.

I just about pulled my hair out last night. Truly. I was wading in the deep end without a paddle. I read and re-read the pattern and then re-read it again. It didn't take long, it's a short pattern.

I got up and went to the computer to verify what I thought they were asking me to do. I was right. Yeah! So, I began. and stopped. verified at the computer. began again. Every row that I did was done in this fashion. It was incredibly tedious. I gave up and went to bed.

This morning, I logged into Knitty and did more research and then googled some more. By mid-afternoon I was ready to tackle it again. And this time the project started to really move.

It's not all completely intarsia. I did a little bit of stranding in the middle of the intarsia pattern. I just didn't feel like that part of the pattern warranted me started yet another freakin' strand of color there. Other than that, I think I've figured it out.

I can honestly say that I don't hate intarsia. It's okay, but I probably won't be doing tons of these projects in the future.

I am proud of myself somewhat. One of my knitting plans (I refuse to say resolutions) was to work with more than one color of yarn this year. I've tackled all sorts of things in the past year: lace, people sweaters, dog sweaters, socks, stoles, shawls, etc. But it's all been with one color/colorway of yarn. I can now say I've done it.

The project will take another couple of days, but here's the current state of the knit (from the back) all laid out on the table next to my cup of mint tea next to my big comfy chair where I like to sit while I knit:

Lot's of pink and black!

I'll see you tomorrow. I'm gonna go dive back in now.

Roxie's Impersonation

Roxie's Impersonation of a Drowned Rat:

Where's all the cute fluff?

Roxie says "I am not amused."

Larry Boy Cake

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far in the contest! I haven't been able to reply to everyone yet, but I will. Read on and you'll see why:

We're still recovering from the crud that we picked up at Christmas. The kids didn't have near the trouble with it that the hubby and I did. We've been walking dead for several days now. I started perking up just in time to panic about the Youngest's Birthday party. I'm still coughing my head off, but other than that, I feel fine. Hubby's voice is much more deep than usual. He lost his voice one night and it was so funny. I've never seen him do that before. Anyway.

Friday afternoon I decided to make the Youngest a birthday cake. He's really into Larry Boy from Veggie Tales so I figured that would be perfect. I really did not want to work with icing bags or tips. Nor did I want to just smooth icing onto it. I decided that the best thing would be to make a fondant cake. The only problem? I had never worked with fondant before.

Well, God bless the internet. I'm just sayin'.

Using this site and this picture of a cake that someone else did with fondant, I began. The recipe was super simple and tastes fairly good for fondant. I will definitely be using this again. All you need is a lot of powdered sugar and mini marshmallows. Sounds yucky huh? and sticky.

This was so much fun. I felt like I was playing with modeling clay. The hardest part was creating the fondant and adding the color to it. My kitchen aid mixer is mega tough though and handled the job nicely. I didn't have tons of time to spend kneading everything in. The birthday party was going to be on Saturday.

I wish I had taken some step by step pics. But since I was learning something new and didn't have much time, the camera had to stay on the shelf where it's kept.

To get the Larry Boy shape, I baked a 9 x 13 sheet cake and let it cool on Thursday. Then on Friday afternoon, I trimmed off all four corners to make a rocket/cucumber shape. The extra was used to make the nose and the crest for his helmet. I used licorice for the belt. Fondant was used for everything else. A pizza cutter works great for trimming the fondant. I also used the lids from some of my spices to get the right circular shapes too. The plunger ears were made from cutting a piece of shortcake in two and coating them with red fondant icing.

Make sure you use some buttercream frosting on your cake before you put the fondant on it. It acts like glue and holds the fondant on the cake. I had to use extra for the licorice. It really didn't want to stay where I put it.

Here's how it turned out. Please forgive my camera, it likes to make all dark purple turn to blue and I haven't figured out how to correct it yet.

Meet Larry Boy

See the Youngest's Reaction? I did good.

When knitting becomes an obsession

When knitting becomes an obsession......

first 2008 FO

Well, I finished my first dog sweater. I used the Penny sweater from Knitty 2003. I ran into all sorts of trouble making this. This should have been a quick, easy knit. I had this thing about half way finished before I realized that the pattern had all sorts of mistakes. So, I ripped it back and went online to look for errata. I contacted the designer and she promptly sent me a corrected copy. Great. So, I began again. And then found another math mistake in the pattern. But, I fixed it with no problem and now have a cute sweater to show for it. The next sweater I make will be a little longer I think, probably about two inches.

Roxie models her sweater while sitting with the Eldest on the Bean Bag.

I'm off now to torture Widget the Supervisor Cat with the sweater next. Wish me luck that I don't get scratched to ribbons.

My First Contest!

I'm having my first contest! It's in honor of three things. The First, is (of course) for the New Year, the Second is to make you get over all those checks you're going to mess up when you write '07 instead of '08, and the Third is for you! The All Things Shea blog had its 5000th view during the past week and I want to celebrate!

So let's kick off the new year by having a contest shall we?

Two ways to get a chance to win:

1. Tell me the resolution that you made last night while drinkin' the bubbly stuff that you know you're never gonna keep.
2. Mention of this contest on your blog gets you another chance to win.

What do you get?

2 Skeins of South West Trading Company Bamboo yarn in the color Cobalt. 250 yds/100g per skein.
Contest ends January 15th!

At that time, the entries will be put into a great big knitting bag and The Eldest will draw a random winner. Check back then for the winner. Good Luck!

I'd send these two to you, but I'm afraid you'd just ship them right back to me. :)

Trust me, there's two in that box. Click to enlarge and you'll see.

Meet Roxie

Here's the puppy pic I promised you yesterday. Still not a great one, but I'm working on it. It's not like I can get her to stand still in my new light box you know. She tends to want to eat it instead.

She's a Chinese Crested Powderpuff, born on Sep. 9th. She's super tiny and soooooo sweet.

Meet Roxie.

I started her a little sweater today. I'll have pics of that soon. I hope.

Happy Birthday!

I'm back! Sorry for the long break. I was out of town and then sick with the crud. The crud is still hanging on, but it's getting better.


First off = We got a new puppy! (yes, we are gluttons for punishment.) But. I haven't been able to get a good pic of her yet. She's tiny and moves too much. I'll get it for you later.

My Dad's feet make their first appearance on the blog!

I finally finished the socks for my Dad. Barely made it under the wire. I've decided that making a man's sock is not fun, especially when I have a deadline. A few too many stitches. I really loved this pattern though. It's the Baby Cable Rib from Sensational Knitted Socks. I used two size 2 circs and Knit Picks Sock yarn in Essential - Terrain Twist. The toe was from the Magic Cast-On tutorial and the heel is a short row one. I was worried that the cable would be too feminine, but this turned out to be a really nice manly sock. The color turned out great too. It should match a lot of his wardrobe.

Check out what happened to a candle on my Mom's mantle. There were some others, but this is the only sad one. They have gas logs and this one was directly over the fireplace. Guess it got a little too hot huh?

One Sad Candle

And last to be mentioned, Today is the Youngest's Birthday! The official party will be next Saturday, but he gets the first mention today.

Happy 2nd Birthday Youngest!

Be sure and check out tomorrow's post - a contest is coming!

A Christmas Song!

Merry Christmas Everyone!


A Christmas Song just for you!

I will be out of town for the next week, so please don't be disappointed if there are few posts.

Pics are finally here!

This post is a little later than I had planned. Life interrupted the photography for a while, but here it is now.

These pics turned out well I think, but I wish I had made a little bit bigger light box. I could not put the whole set in it to photograph it. I'll have to show you the set in pieces instead.

For the Clay Pot Nativity Set that I made, there are sixteen pieces and each took a while to make. I'm considering making more to sell, but they'll have to be custom ordered. It will be a little late to have it for this Christmas, but that's ok, I'm patient.

I've come up with some cute ideas to mix clay pot people with knitting and I'll have some of those after Christmas.

I don't have an Etsy store yet, but if anyone is interested in getting one of these sets or even part of one you can email me at sjmercureAThotmailDOTcom and I'll get you the pricing information.

So, without further ado (click all pics to enlarge):

The Basic Set - Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus and the Stable

Three Wise Men and Camel

Shepherd and Stableman with Sheep, Donkey and Cow

Innkeeper, Angel, Drummer Boy

Meanest .Mommy. Ever.

I have been given the "Meanest Mommy Ever" award by the Eldest. Wanna know why?

There was a Holiday Gift Shop at his school. A place where the little kiddies could by their family some great gifts for Christmas. He was so excited about doing this.

We had a small talk when I gave him some money about who to buy for, mainly his Dad and his PawPaw (my Dad). He already had gifts for everyone else. He looked at me and said "And I can get myself something too!"

I replied, "No, You don't need to buy yourself anything. Christmas is for giving a gift to others, not yourself." I thought this was pretty simple and straightforward. A done deal right?

Not.

That afternoon when I picked himself up from school he couldn't wait to tell me everything he got. He got Dad and Pawpaw something. Oh, and also something for his little brother, The Youngest. I was a bit suspicious over that one. He doesn't really do a whole lot for his brother. The suspicion was confirmed when he said, "Oh and I got myself two things."

Now, I know that it's difficult being a 7 year old when confronted by all that cool stuff. However.... Not only did he not mind me, he was selfish.

So, I decided to turn this into an Object Lesson. (7 year olds hate those.)

He got to donate those two really cool toys (and they were pretty cool I must say) to a wonderful cause:

I wanna urge everyone to donate a toy for this wonderful cause. The Eldest may have toys overflowing out of his room, but some poor child will have nothing. Give a little love to a child near you this year.

The Eldest is a good kid. There was only a little of his lower lip pouting out when he put those toys in the box. He conceded that he was helping others and maybe that wasn't so bad. I think he's learned his lesson.

I think next year I'll let him pick out another couple of gifts to donate too. This is one lesson I don't mind repeating over and over til he learns it.

The Definition of Silence

Never turn your back on an almost two year old. Ever. If you hear silence, run, don't walk and go find the said child. I guess the same goes if you hear screaming, but the silence is often worse.

Normal definition of silence:
Silence: n.

1. The condition or quality of being or keeping still and silent. (Forget this one, the Youngest doesn't know how to keep still.)

2. The absence of sound; stillness. (I repeat, he doesn't know how to sit still.)

3. A period of time without speech or noise. (I only wish)

4. Refusal or failure to speak out. (NOW we're gettin' warmer.)

I think we need to add a few more numbers to this list. Something like:

5. The sound that brings terror to a Mommy's ears.
6. The sound of a child bent on wreaking havoc on the living room, or the cat, take your pick.
7. The sound you hear when a child is hell bent on destroying (or climbing) something he knows he's not supposed to.

Would you like a few pictorial examples?

How about when he redecorates the living room with diapers?

How about when he decorates the trees with his own diaper ornaments?

And the loud annoying Hallmark decoration?

Or adds them to the stack of gifts?

Or unrolls a whole brand new roll of toilet paper on the floor?

The face of guilt:

Ways to hold yarn for knitting

How do you hold your Yarn and needles when you are knitting? And does changing it affect your tension? For me it does. There's no "right way" or "wrong way" to hold yarn when knitting. To each his own. But it does fascinate me how many ways there are to hold the yarn when knitting.

I learned to crochet first. My mom taught me. When crocheting I held the yarn in my left hand. So, when I picked up the knitting needles for the first time, it felt more natural for me to do it that way. Now in English style knitting, the yarn is traditionally held in the right hand. In Continental style knitting, the yarn is controlled by the left hand. When I do my Combination style knitting, left is the way to go.

Now that we've figured out which hand to hold the yarn in, how do you hold and control it with that hand? Now most people (unless you're Annie Modesitt) don't just let the yarn hang down, they need to hold it to control the tension of the yarn in the stitches.

I became curious about this subject recently. I was watching a show (can't remember which one) on tv and this one lady was doing a demonstration of how to knit. She showed both English and Continental styles. I didn't pay as much attention to those as how she held the yarn. It was different than the way I do it. I was fascinated. I tried it on the project that I was working on and discovered that the tension on my project was completely different. I went back to my way, but I now I watch others for their methods.

Here is how I hold my yarn:

Image 1 - From the Top

Image 2 - From the Palm

Video - How I load up my yarn on my hand:

I haven't seen or found many people discussing this subject online. I have seen it in published books, but most online articles that I've found just explain the different styles of knitting and avoid how to hold the working yarn.


Here are a few links I've found to some of the different ways to hold your yarn and needles. I'm sure there are many more out there, I just haven't found them.

WorldKnit
ExpertVillage
The Scottish Gypsy
How Stuff Works



I would love to know how you hold your yarn!

Lightening Round!

So it's time for a lightening round of "What's Shea Been Up To?"

First, not much good news on the socks. I had to rip about 2 inches last night. I had big gaping holes between the heel and the leg of the sock. I tried to get over it, I tried to tell myself that I would go back and sew them up later, but I just couldn't do it. I had to fix the holes. So rrrriiiiipppp I went! I caught back up today, but jeez I'm so far behind schedule. I may be finishing these socks in front of my Dad. I haven't had a lot of time to devote to these because of another Christmas project which I'll show you part of in a minute.

Second, I helped the Eldest make his first Gingerbread House. This was from a kit and I will never buy the kit again. It would be easier to do my own. There wasn't enough frosting to do the job properly. But, eh, The Eldest had a ball doing this anyway and it did turn out cute.

Model of Eldest's dream house?

Third, I made a light box today to help photograph my projects. But I didn't have any poster board and this definitely needs poster board! Tissue paper in the back just won't do.

Fourth, Here is a portion of what I have been frantically making for the past couple of weeks. Yep, it's a clay pot people nativity set. There are only three pieces to the nativity scene shown here. Once I get that poster board, I'll do a proper pic. with all of them. There are a lot of characters in this nativity set. I made two sets at once too and it almost killed me. These are all very detailed. Like I said, more to come tomorrow (hopefully.)

Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus at the Inn

Mommy's been busy and I think someone's feeling neglected.

Christmas and Crafts

What does your Dining Room table look like this holiday season? Do you have a beautiful centerpiece? Some fun place settings? A beautiful tablecloth and matching napkins?

Mine currently looks like this:

And I cleaned it up a bit before I took the pic too!

Crafting is such a messy business. At least there's a giant collapsed box protecting the surface of the table. What's that you see? An Incredible's cup holding sharpies and paintbrushes? More terracotta pots? Hmmm.... I'll have details about what I've been scrambling to get done in a few days.

On the opposite side of the room though, is a bit of Christmas:

Notice the cat? See what she did to the garland?

This was a sappy sentimental purchase on my part. Growing up, my grandparents had a silver tinsel tree with blue ornaments. So I wanted one. I put a peacock in place of the star though and added some teal blue ornaments to tie it together. And let me tell you, Widget the cat is very pleased. She loves the garland and the silver on the tree, not to mention the dangling ornaments. Luckily, the Youngest has left this one mostly alone. Alas, the large traditional tree has not quite fared as well from the little terror.

knitting gremlins and toupees

Sometime between last night and this afternoon, gremlins got into my knitting bag. Here is the current and proper state of my sock knitting. Can you see how the needles are laid out? One needle is for the cabled side and one needle is for the stockinette side and when laid down, everything should be flat. Can ya see that?

Click to enlarge

Now, last night when I put the knitting down everything was fine. When I picked it back up this afternoon though, oh boy. One of the needles, instead of having both sides pointing away from each other, were pointing in! How the heck did this happen? I have no clue. Nothing is wrong with the socks or stitches. Why? and while we're at it, Why Me? I had to pull the needle out from one end and re-do it. Now I'm back at the above proper knitting with 2 circs configuration. It had to be gremlins!

I've been working on a time intensive project lately. I'll have to show you it later when it's closer to completion. It's not knitting, but it is crafty. Anyway, I was working with some fun fur and the Youngest got a hold of it, put it on his head and proudly yelled "hat!" You can see his new toupee below.

Daddy's got a new rug!

Nigerian scam email breakdown

I promise I'll start putting photos back into the blog, but I couldn't pass this up!

I received an email today that amused me to no end. It was one of those Nigerian scam emails that you hear about in the news so often. The spelling and grammar are blatantly horrible. It kills me that so many gullible and obviously illiterate people have been taken in on these things. Why? Why does this work?

Here is the email in it's totality with some additional comments from yours truly:

ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES

INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR
OF OPERATIONS

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

ATTENTION BENEFICIARY: (Why is this moron screaming at me in upper case letters?)

THIS IS TO OFFICIALY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR
CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED (shouldn't this be fulfilled?) THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT / INHERITANCE (make up your mind. Is it an inheritance or a contract. Do I have to pay or get paid? I'm so confused) PAYMENT.

SECONDLY ( Wait, where was the firstly?) WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. (I'm sorry, but that whole damn sentence was gibberish. Could you please speak/write the Queens English?) WE WISH TO ADVIVE (advive? Did you just say advive?) YOU THAT SUCH AN ILEGAL (um, just like this letter it's illegal dumba$$) ACT LIKE THIS HAVE (has) TO STOP IF YOU WISHES (why is this plural?) TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. (Typical man. Did I freakin' ask you to solve my problems? Can't you just listen for a change?)

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT ENTER ASIA PACIFIC (So what exactly is a swift card payment enter asia? Is that some newfangled electronic funds transfer that is done in Japanese B-movie speak?), THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT CHIEF ALHAJI UMAR MUSA YAR-ADUA (say that ten times fast) (GCFR FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA. (hello? dummy? where's your end quote?)

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT (There's always a BUT isn't there?) THE MAXIMUM IS ONE THOUSAND FIVE DOLLARS PER DAY (cause God knows, we wouldn't want to take more from you that day, we might get caught by some Government watchdog agency), SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE (I before E except after C - gee, your grammar teacher sucked.) YOUR FUND THIS WAY (So am I giving or receiving? It's not quite clear enough for me.) PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:


1.YOUR FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER, (why is there a comma here?)
3. ADDRESS WERE (obviously this person has spent time here in the deep south. It's fairly common to substitute were for where. IE: Were ya'll goin' fer lunch?) YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY ATTACHED TO E-MAIL (Will a clone of me fit in an envelope?)

MR IGNATIUS IMALA (Love. the. name. love. it.)

INTEGRATED (Just underwent a merger of Nigerian jerks and panhandlers) PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
EMAIL:drignatius1@yahoo.com


THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED (Sure they have)TO ISSUE OUT
$8,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007.


ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION (Again, more deep south speak. What we have here, is a failure in comminucation.) WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s).

THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES (Now that, my friend, is some fantastic legalese. Do legal departments use the word hitches?) IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT. AS SOON AS YOU REPLY TO THIS IMPORTANT M ESSAGE (m essage in case you missed it) FOR FURTHER DIRECTION IN THIS REGARDS (more unnecessary plurality) AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE.

NOTE: THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS (and people who can't spell), WE HEREBY ISSUED (God, the grammar mistakes are killing me) YOU OUR CODE OF
CONDUCT, WHICH IS (811) (you can call 911 later when you realize you've been scammed) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING
THE CARD CENTER. (That way we'll know which moronic American is forking over their hard earned cash to us.)

PERSON IN CONTACT OF THE CARD CENTER. (In case you couldn't figure this out from the dude's title below)

(Mr Musa Bello)

CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT (Thank goodness someone is auditing the president in Nigeria, wish someone would do that in the USA.)
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES

EMAIL ADD:mrmusabello@gawab.com